Rule number 6 continued…
I wanted to talk about how taking yourself too seriously impacts others.
There is no room for negativity within a dance environment…period.
If you are asked to dance or are in the middle of dancing with someone please be aware of your demeanor. Whatever you express, be it with your facial expressions or your body language, people feel it.
It impacts them and others they subsequently come in contact with after you.
You can set up a good chain or a bad chain. Use it as an opportunity to boost yourself by boosting others.
I don’t care how miserable we are dancing with them and I don’t care how off beat they are. Unless they are hurting us or making us physically uncomfortable, why do we need to show it?
Are we really that good? If we think so, then we need to get over that dream. And fast.
It’s very simple. With a few adjustments to your facial muscles, you can make yourself and others feel great, or you can make the both of you feel and look miserable.
Lighten up on your partner, you’ll probably dance better anyways.
And I will be sure to double check myself and follow my own advice.
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July 30, 2009 at 6:54 am
Tonia
Somehow I missed your first post on Rule Number 6 but I’ve read it now and this is a good follow up. I’m not always sure how I appear to the people I dance with and I may be difficult to interpret because of my facial expressions. When I am really having fun I think it is clear because I feel it and I smile a lot. Sometimes I’m just concentrating on the movement and I may appear serious. In any case, I need to be more aware of how my expressions my impact my dance partner.
I try to be conscious of appearing bored or frustrated as I have seen that look on some of my dance partners faces. It’s clear when they give up on you by falling back to the basic steps and not challenging you when you know they can do more or they spend the entire time looking around the room at other dancers rather than trying to connect with you.
I’ve heard nightmare tales, more from men than women, of a partner completely walking off the dance floor in the middle of a dance because they were not happy with their dance partner.
I think karma exists on the dance floor to some extent. If I want people to give me a chance as a partner I have to give others a chance even if I am not happy with their dance skills. There’s a challenge in every dance encounter, whether it be getting back to the foundation or fundamentals, learning how to connect better, or learning new skills.
July 30, 2009 at 12:59 pm
Paso
Sometimes it is difficult to know how we appear to others, especially without a mirror. But you are correct, we all should at least have an awareness of what our face is saying.
It is easy to smile when we are having fun, like when our partner is really good, and the music is too. But what happens when its not so fun?
When we find we are not enjoying ourselves as much as we could during a dance, did you know, a simple smile can trick our brain into happiness? Happiness arises as much from our body as it does from our thoughts.
If the bodily movement of smiling can make our brains experience feelings of happiness, then why not use the smile as a trigger for others. A positive face and a smile (real or even forced) is so contagious!
I’ve found that even some of the most inexperienced new dancers can look great with a smile; it can cover a multitude of dance floor mishaps. The inverse is also true, who cares about a “great” dancer if they look bored, grumpy, or disconnected. (Or as in those nightmare tales, flat out snobby and rude!)
I think you are right about your karma comment, what you put out into the world comes back to you, even on the dance floor.
S